I invite ladies to be a fly on the wall and listen to the words of their confusing masculine counterparts.
You are in a sparsely furnished living room with even less décor on the walls; pizza boxes and pop cans are unevenly distributed in various spots in the room.
You -- an estrogen carrier -- are an alien in the world of the testosterone breathers. Say nothing…just listen…at first nothing but grunts can be heard, but after a few minutes a word is understood. You think how rude and cold these guys must be to not say anything, but to your surprise, none of the guys seem bothered in the least about the silence. The following is just a sample of what was unveiled.
I can’t go into as much depth as I’d like to in this post, but men and women have different senses of how they’d like to be noticed for things (and what they’d like to be noticed for.) At the root of it, when a man feels like he make a woman happy, he will not want to be in a relationship with her (or if he stays, he will not want to deepen it). Back to neediness: When a woman starts acting needy, especially in the beginning of a relationship, it shows up as the ultimate red flag. Neediness is synonymous with ’emotional dependency’, as in: “This woman is dependent on the guy in order for her to feel good.” Now, sometimes when I start explaining this, I’ll get a comment saying, “Oh so what? You can have it all, too, but what I’m trying to explain in this article is that you don’t get it from it.
On the other hand, when a woman acknowledges him for all the things he’s doing well, he will almost certainly want to deepen the relationship and stay in it. We’re supposed to be emotional robots with no feelings or desires and just accept anything a guy is doing without complaint? You create a relationship with those qualities by inspiring those things within the relationship.
For instance, it's easier and more "masculine" for us to talk about the great sex we had rather than describe the great conversation afterward.
So, a woman ends up knowing the male script, but not the man.
Here's the standard line on men: We're simple, straightforward, limited—and usually perfectly happy to leave it there. Unfortunately, that performance is more designed to conceal than reveal us.
But here's the single biggest thing women don't get about men: Masculinity is a complicated performance we agree to in order to be seen as men.
Especially not about girlish things, like if those jeans show off our assets.
But the truth is, men enjoy a little well-intentioned objectification.
After enduring several comments on sports, cars, and food, you begin to think this is a lost cause. In the volley of verbal discussion you are quite surprised to find out that a lot of thought is put into this subject, considering the fact that it often seems that guys do not talk about relationships, let alone pursue them. In fact, if what these guys say is true, emotions are just not enough.
A guy may be interested in a girl and still do and say nothing. Because guys believe there are more factors to consider than feelings. One of the guys explains a time when he was bold enough to ask a girl out, but she said no.
Perhaps this is because women have other factors at work -- and that teenage cheerleader look isn't always a bad thing when it comes to attracting men.