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Simply put, the most important characteristics are kindness, reliability, and emotional stability.If you’re lucky enough to be spend much of your life with someone who has those qualities, you are going to have years of happiness and peace ahead of you.

While we are single in our twenties, most of us are still holding on to the dream of finding the perfect guy, having the perfect wedding, and creating the perfect family.By the time we reach our thirties, we recognize the reality: relationships are difficult, and they require work and compromise. Upon this realization, the set of single women seemingly splits into two groups: the ones who can make significant compromises in order to be married, and the ones who can not.My mom used to tell me that the secret to a happy marriage is to find someone who is just crazy about you.Unfortunately, it didn’t sink in at the time—my dating years were filled with wasted time pining away after boys, and then men, who were decidedly not crazy about me.We are nestled in a society where very few people find comfort in the idea that life is meant to be lived freely. Refusing to allow anything in life to naturally evolve, we manipulate every factor, desperately attempting to create perfection.

We have a strong desire to minimize our risks and predict our outcomes.As a result, dating and relationships have become a pitfall for mental strategizing.We are indoctrinated with the idea that our soulmates must adhere to the challenge in order to deem themselves supreme.One day after we had our second child and the new-baby fog began to lift, I reflected on the sheer drudgery of the tasks my husband and I had undertaken.All of a sudden, I realized how selflessly he had loved me through it all.Tragically, even the most promising contestants can’t withstand, and soon we are left with no contestants to compete in our games.