Here’s a new article which I wrote as a special to Yahoo! And while I never write emails for others, the request makes perfect sense.
The thing is, even if she’s interesting, she most likely wrote a whole bunch of clichés in her profile: “I’m nice, smart, kind, warm, funny, honest and family-oriented. I’m looking for my best friend, lover and partner in crime for a lifetime of love and laughter.” (Scary how easy it is to approximate the typical online dating profile, isn’t it? Even a specific response like “I noticed you enjoy biking. For example, if you’re writing to the foot model, you might say: Let’s drink to our fashion careers, Evan Sure, it’s a little goofy, but people actually respond to this stuff. Because it’s different, it’s audacious and, in a strange way, it’s kind of smart. It’s not an idle compliment or a generic, “Ooh, look what we have in common” line. Start your comment in the subject heading of the email, like this… Talk to you soon, Evan If these kinds of emails don’t work for you, no problem. Just keep in mind that the confidence it takes to write an email like that is compelling.
It’s a joke and, as we all know, people like people who make them laugh. I can fix your computer, landscape your backyard and probably even hotwire your car, but, for some reason, Ti Vo programming seems to elude me as well. Playing it safe is fine, but if an attractive person has dozens, if not hundreds, of options, you need to shake things up a little bit to break through the clutter. Interesting piece, which I’ll have to parse at length when I have the time…but it leads me to throw out a theory I’ve been kicking around.
Well, you can start by remembering these three basic rules: It’s not that “You’ve got a great smile, let’s go out sometime” is a bad opener. I read your profile and thought it was really amazing. So please look at my profile and if you like what I had to say, write back to me when you get a chance. If you’re too complimentary in that initial email, you can come off as desperate and needy. Still, the question remains: how do you say something original and flirty?
Yours, Evan Every line of this message can be thrown out. Because anyone whom you contact knows by virtue of you writing to them that a) you liked their profile, b) you liked their photo and c) you’d like a reply. That, my friends, is what separates the most successful online daters from the rest of the pack. In this case, I’ve written them for men replying to women, but the steps are applicable to everyone: Every word of it.
When you first open up your email inbox, do you instantly know which messages to delete?
If so, how do you know which ones belong in the trash?
The truth is, there is a lot of competition out there—especially if you’re a woman dating over 40. Include: I know about a lot of things, but a physicist I’m not.
Move into your 50s and 60s, and the competition can get downright fierce. I would enjoy learning more about the where’s and why’s of how matter and energy interact. But my interest is real.) Or, if you prefer, we can talk about how well you liked the last movie you saw.
Having a fantastic profile is a must, but coupling that with the art of writing emails sets you up to be a surefire winner in the game of online dating love. (Mine was Hunger Games and I loved it.)I know about a lot of things [nugget – tells him you’re smart and proud of it], but a physicist I’m not [you’re smart yet humble and not interested in competing with him].
(Like I was in 2006.) The vast majority of emails sent by women go something like this: If Susie’s email is landing in the inbox of a relatively handsome, kind and interesting 50- or 60-something man, chances are Susie isn’t getting a date. Make it enticing, intriguing, or flirty…and personal. I would enjoy learning more about the where’s and why’s of how matter and energy interact.
(I write these for my coaching clients all the time. (Mine was Hunger Games and I loved it.)In two weeks I’m going to Prague and on a river boat cruise. (Yes, this was a real email and Karen did receive a response.) One more thing: I believe in dating karma.