After my daughter Lulu was born, 21 months ago now, I sent out a photograph of her to several friends, wearing one of those little hats they give out in the hospital to keep a baby's tiny head warm.Under the photo I noted her name, weight, day, and time of birth. Until one day I looked at the photograph closely and couldn't identify the room it was taken in—it seemed to be someone else's kitchen.It took a minute to figure out what had happened: A friend I hadn't seen in years had a child around the same time and had sent me an announcement.
Once they “get” the person, it becomes less interesting for them. They are consumed with picking out the negative traits in the other person in a meticulous fashion.
I am not saying people should ignore negative traits or stay in relationships they’re not happy with, but with the commitment-phobic person, this endeavour of seeking out negative traits in the other person is particularly acute and almost an obsessive process.
So months or years go by and the girl just figures (even after all this time) that if she just loves him enough, he’ll be strong enough to love her back.
At this point, she’s in deep too – she’s invested so much into a relationship that she hopes will someday happen, but has yet to ever make its debut into reality.
On the other hand, if, like me you keep attracting CP's - it is surely time to take a look inside and get vigorously honest about why you are attracting CP's?
If you want marriage and children and/or a commitment and you are dating or living with a CP, I suggest you question yourself as to why you would find it acceptable behaviour and continue on in a relationship with someone who is not showing you the respect, and love you SO deserve?
It's possible that I even e-mailed my friend a photograph of her own baby, claiming it was mine.
I never bothered to correct the wrong photo with the right one, mostly because the day I found out, I had to send a few more announcements.
Commitment phobia is something I see in my office often and happens to both women and men. This is often not conscious and going on at the deepest level of the sub consciousness.
You can spot a commitment-phobe a mile away only if you know what you are looking for.
On the one hand, he cares for her and wants her around. The rationale he makes in his head is that once he “gets himself together” (that is, he starts actually the things in his life that he intends to do), he’ll break things off with his not-girlfriend all good and tidy and go for the girl he actually wants to be with. most people go their whole lives The girl supports him emotionally and faithfully acts as his crutch so that he can find his strength and become the man he’s always wanted to be.